Google

Overcoming Bad Moods


From experience, one of the biggest stumbling blocks for people who attempt to improve their states of mind is feeling motivated to use the strategies when they have already slipped into negativity. Sometimes, despite our best intentions, we just cannot help but fall into a less empowering mood, and then we stop doing the things we know we should do to feel good.

For example, imagine that you spent a whole week training up a new staff or team member, only to discover that s/he quit at the end of the week. At the same time you realise that your wallet has gone missing and that the new staff member incorrectly completed the contact section of the staff contract.

Angry!

Or this: you spend three hours writing a report and your computer crashes. You reboot your computer, access the recovered file and your computer crashes again! This time you lose the lot and you have to start again.

Frustrated!

The chances are, that if something happens to you that spontaneously makes you feel negative, such as in the above examples, you would not immediately feel motivated to change your state. In fact, you WANT to stay angry, frustrated etc. You LIKE IT!

The trouble is, remaining in a negative state, perpetuates the very problem that you are feeling negative about. For example, if you feel angry because someone stole your wallet or broke your trust, staying angry for the rest of the day won't help you to earn the money back. If you feel frustrated because you lost three hours worth of work on a report, staying frustrated won't help you to rewrite it.

In order to come out of the negative state of mind, we need to associate more pain to continuing to feel negative, and pleasure to feeling happy again. We have to make a conscious decision that we want to be happy, and do something about it.

How? As soon as we recognise that we are feeling negative, we can acknowledge that the negativity has been caused by losing something we enjoyed, or gaining something we didn't want. Once we know what that 'something' is, we can combat the bad state of mind by focusing on what we need to do to fix it. We can change from an emotional state to a goal achieving state. Sometimes when we feel angry, for example, we remain in that state because we feel like it helps to get what we want.

As I explain in my new book, Fast Track Your Success and Happiness, If we focus on achieving a goal (even if it is just a little one) we are no longer focusing on ourselves and our bad moods tend to disappear on their own.

So for example, if someone steals your wallet, focussing on the goal of cancelling your credit cards will put you in a better state (and be more productive) than thinking about how angry you are with the person who did it. If you lose a document, immediately sitting back down to rewrite it will have you feeling like a champ when you finish. If you are feeling unwell, setting a small goal (that won't make you feel physically worse) will help to shift the focus away from your poor health.

If you are just feeling TOO negative to be able to concentrate on achieving a goal, go and do any activity that requires concentration. For example, if you are at home you could watch a comedy video (the moving pictures and constant audio stream uses a large portion of our attention) or if you are at work, you could find something distracting to do.

The key is, distraction and change of focus, will help to change a negative emotion even if we are not motivated to change ourselves.

(C) Copyright Petra Rankin 2005

Petra Rankin used powerful techniques to beat her own long-term depression. She is now dedicated to teaching others how to be happier and lead more successful lives. Her first book Fast Track Your Success and Happiness is due to be launched in September 2005 and is currently available for download as a free e-book instead of paying $19.95. Limited time only!


MORE RESOURCES:

RELATED ARTICLES


Quick Tips On Making Change Work For You
Facing a change and want to make it work for you?Edward W. Smith, motivational speaker, author and TV show host, who specializes in quick tips on how to move your life ahead even faster, offers the following advice.
Reframing Rejection
So people will reject us no matter how good we look, no matter how successful we are, and no matter how giving we are. If we were to become even nicer, and even more spiritually aware they would still reject us so it is a pointless battle trying to win over everyone.
P. M. A.
P.M.
Down On Your Luck? Heres How You Get Over The Hump!
It's time to put a bad rumor to rest right now. Good things don't happen to you because you have "good luck.
Negative vs Positive: The Ever-existing Battle In Your Mind
WE ARE ALL THINKING ALL OF THE TIME.Can you believe that our thoughts never leave us.
How to Begin to Overcome Shyness
The one thing that is absolutely vital to overcoming shyness is DESIRE. You must want to, badly.
How to Plan a Vacations of the Mind
Part 1Recently, in a women's therapy group that I run, the desire for fun and a change of pace over took me. I suggested that we deviate from some of our typical work and instead go around the room imagining a vacation treat designed to suit each woman's desires.
Managing Your OCD, Panic Attacks, and Obsessive Thoughts
There are times that we encounter fearful thoughts that can be difficult to manage. For some people, the more they try to get rid of the thoughts, the stronger the thoughts become and the more difficult they become to manage.
Keep Your Cool
Know your limits. Accept what you can't change and let go of things out of your control.
A Good Joke Can Lighten the Mood
A joke is a way of getting people to laugh. It is a great opener for a speech or in a social gathering to break the ice.
How To Talk Your Way To Success
Smart folk have always realised how vital it is to talk positively to themselves as well as to other people. A bit of research will show you how these successful men and women not only visualise their goals but also frame them in words they constantly repeat to themselves.
How You Doing? The Answer is Up to You and It Will Make Your Day Great If You Answer Correctly!
How are you? That's a loaded question, and I'll tell you why:60% of the people that ask that question don't care how you're doing. They're just making small talk;30% of the people that ask that question hope you're doing badly, because their life is a shambles, and we all know misery loves company;10% of the people you talk to genuinely care how you're doing, and will ask a follow-up question or two.
How to Get Rid of Stinking Thinking
Q: I seem to beat myself before I ever get started. I catch myself trying to talk myself out of doing anything because of all the obstacles I see.
You Cant Plant Apple Seeds and Expect Oranges
Cheri decided that she wanted to grow an apple tree in her back yard. She had never planted an apple tree before.
We All Send Signals
Think for a moment about all of the signals people send. As much as some try we cannot compartmentalize our lives.
What Every Employee Should Know About How to Maximize His Potential for Success
There are countless books that describe success principles. Here are a few principles that I have summarized for you:* Believe in yourself, your abilities, and in your God-given yet unused talents.
Zenobias Life Lessons
I was a young girl aged 12, when the one person whom I adored and admired was removed from my life. During that time, I was emotionally scarred and abandoned.
The Power of the Mind
Each of us has a mind by which we convert ideas from spirit into the physical world. The mind is like a computer which when programmed will carry out certain tasks.
Overcoming Bad Moods
From experience, one of the biggest stumbling blocks for people who attempt to improve their states of mind is feeling motivated to use the strategies when they have already slipped into negativity. Sometimes, despite our best intentions, we just cannot help but fall into a less empowering mood, and then we stop doing the things we know we should do to feel good.
Self-esteem: Does It Really Matter?
Some people are full of confidence and able to meet even the most difficult challenge with an air of authority. A good level of self-esteem is essential for us to function successfully in our professional and personal lives.