Taking Responsibility for Yourself
This week I happened to catch a few minutes of a popular talk show on television, and the topic was confessions. A young man was confessing to his girlfriend of 5 years that he had cheated on her with her best friend. Not too unusual these days I guess. But what he said next floored me. "It was an accident. One thing led to another and before I knew it, we were having sex."
I beg your pardon? How do you accidentally have sex with someone? Call the Surgeon General, we may have an epidemic on our hands. People are losing control of their own minds and bodies and randomly having sex!
Sadly, this type of thinking is all too common in our society, and not just in relationships either. We don't want to take the blame for anything, or be responsible for anything. We blame the weather, our friends, our bosses, the government and anything else that happens to be convenient.
Let's face it, no one likes to be wrong, or admit that we screwed up. Our society is obsessed with perfection. Just look at the ads on television and in magazines. All you see are perfect, airbrushed, white-toothed, smiling models. In this day and age, image is everything. (I personally don't think so, but that seems to be the popular trend.) You will be admired if you drive the right car, wear the right clothes and project the right "look." If you've done something wrong or made a mistake, you'd better sweep it under the carpet quickly so no one finds out. If others find out you're not perfect, you will no longer be put up on that pedestal.
I realize I'm dramatizing a wee bit, but I see it all the time and I'm sure you do too. So what's the big deal? Who cares if we don't accept responsibility for our own actions? Who are we really hurting? Ourselves.
Just because no one knows about our dirty little secrets, doesn't mean they don't exist. Continuing to conceal them and put on a mask of perfection eats away at our souls, little by little. As we pretend to be more and more perfect, we keep adding more pressure on ourselves. The more perfect we pretend to be, the harder we will have to work to keep up that charade. While we may look perfect on the outside, inside we know we're frauds and we have to do whatever it takes to keep people from finding out. Talk about anxiety!
In addition, how can we take credit for the good things we do when we won't acknowledge the bad? If we feel like a phony, our accomplishments will be tarnished by those feelings. They won't shine as brightly as they would if we could be truly proud of ourselves.
That doesn't mean we have to shout our mistakes from the rooftops either. But if we've done something wrong or hurt someone we care about, it's our responsibility to try to set it right. That might mean apologizing, or doing what we can to fix the damage we've done. But at the very least we should acknowledge our mistakes to ourselves, and vow to try harder next time. Sometimes when we mess up it's not ALL our fault. There may have been reasons why we acted like we did. Maybe our hearts were in the right place, but we didn't consider the possible consequences. We made a decision that caused a negative outcome. We have to acknowledge and accept that, not deny it.
It's been said that "character is what you do when you think no one is watching." I love that! What a powerful truth it is. It's wonderful that our character is 100% within our control. We choose who we want to be. We can consider our options and make a conscious decision on what actions we take. We can choose to be a great person, or a fraud. The important thing to remember is that these ARE choices we are making. It's no one's fault but our own.
How funny that we try to shun responsibility because we think it will make us look more perfect, when in fact the truth is, being accountable for ourselves can only build our character, not detract from it.
Wendy Betterini is a freelance writer who strives to motivate, uplift, and inspire you to make your dreams a reality. Visit her website, http://www.WingsForTheHeart.com for more positive thoughts to help you on your journey.
MORE RESOURCES:
 |
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
10 Tips to Cope with Negative Emotions at Work
It's a fact of life - if you want to succeed in business, you need to know how to interact and communicate effectively with your employees, business partners, vendors, prospects, and customers. As a small business owner, this might involve rapid shifting from one type of language to another.
Your Dominant Thoughts - How to Take Advantage of Them
Self belief is a wonderful thing.I know from my own life experiences that whenever I have been filled with dread or doubt I am unable to perform at a satisfactory level.
How to Cope With Your Inner Food Critic
Every day that I eat EnergyRich? Food, I get almost instantaneous results.
It's wonderful: I feel good about myself, I am productive in my work, I am available
for my friends and family.
Positive Self-Talk
One of the most powerful influences on your attitude and personality is what you say to yourself. It is not what happens to you, but how you respond internally to what happens to you, that determines your thoughts, feelings, and your actions.
5 Ways To Use Mind Power To Maximise Your Potential
Why do patients who are given placebo pills report that they feel well? These pills have no healing capabilities. They get well purely because the power to heal came from their beliefs.
Shifting Your Paradigm
What is a paradigm? In my own words, a paradigm is a belief system. It can be a personal belief system, or one held by a mass number of people, or even the whole world.
Your Mediocre Mind
Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds. ~ A.
How Our Beliefs Narrow The Limits Of Our Possibilities
The universe is vast, it's dimensions inconceivable, it's potentialities unimaginable, and we know too that our own consciousness has depths to it that are virtually infinite, and yet despite this enormity within and without, we choose to confine ourselves to beliefs in scarce resources.These beliefs, like all our beliefs, are not true, yet, because of the earnestness of our conviction and our genius in adumbrating the numerous aspects of our impoverishment, we take our beliefs to be true.
The 5 Words That Are Ruining Your Life
How would you like to stop feeling like your life isn't good enough? (I realize advertisers would go broke if this happened, but it's better for you!) Imagine feeling joyful, whole and complete when you look in the mirror at the end of the day.What if I showed you how you're consciously creating circumstances and beliefs everyday that give you results you aren't happy with? Would you like to change it?It's much simpler than you think.
Self-Recovery from Addiction: Taking Responsibility for Your Life
I've had several coaching clients come to me who, while they wanted to move forward in life, were actually stuck in a self-destructive addiction. Of course, I cannot directly confront them about their addictions, as they had to open up to me that it was part of the problem that was keeping them in the same rut in which they found themselves day-after-day.
Succeed with a Positive Mental Attitude
"Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude." - Thomas JeffersonWithout a doubt, Mr Jefferson offers priceless advice.
Heres Your Calm During The Storm Of Discouragement
Have you ever known someone like this? "A person who knows how to start well, but finds it difficult to keep going"? A person whose successes are dependent on the quality of someone else's encouragement and motivation? Someone who consistently let's discouragement get the better of him? Ever found yourself like that? There's hope, read on.Don't Worry, Be Happy! &^%$%^Yeah right! How many times have you wished you could bit**-slap somebody for saying that at the moment you least needed it? I know I have a bunch.
The Enchanted Self - Thats Each of Us!
In my years as a psychologist, I have come to believe that most people seeking psychotherapy are unhappy. This is not only due to earlier hurts and traumas, as well as present frustrations and problems, but because they cannot access earlier happy moments often enough.
Absence Makes The Fear Go Yonder!
Emotions are controlled by a combination of reason and action. Man is the only member of the animal kingdom that can control the emotions he experiences on a day to day basis.
All In The Mind
"In life, if you give yourself a concession, you'd take it" -Alvin Poh
As part of my exercise regime when I was younger, I made it a point to have a run around my neighbourhood as often as I could. Although when I say "as often as I could", it usually meant only once every week, or none at all.
5 Tips on Turning a Negative into a Positive
I thought this was fitting sense I just experienced a huge negative in my life and choose to focus on the positive in the situation. For instance, when I was unable to sign into this program to get to my list of subscribers, I could have taken it in the real negative manner and given up.
Oh for a Really Good Day!
What's wrong with me? When I'm sick I get grumpy and
irritable. When I'm criticised I become defensive.
Getting Over Your Fear Of Success
The fear of success is more common than some might realize. Just the thought of 'What it would be like to.
Positive Affirmations
Never used 'em. Not likely to start now.
The Power of the Mind
Each of us has a mind by which we convert ideas from spirit into the physical world. The mind is like a computer which when programmed will carry out certain tasks.
|