Google

Are You A Victim Of FABS? Part 2


When you have a case of FABS, it may be hard to eradicate, but it is far from impossible. Fear, Anger, Blame and Shame may be different emotions, but they can all be gotten rid of in the same ways:

First and foremost, it is very important to learn to LIVE IN THE MOMENT! The past is over and done with, and can never be changed, no matter how much we wish that it could. I remember watching a TV show called Biography, where they were doing the life story of a famous TV star. He made the comment that he had spent his life always looking behind him, never at where he was or where he was going. He likened it to driving a car but only looking in the rear view mirror. If this is what you are doing, it is time to turn your head around and face the sun. This crystalline moment in time is the only reality that exists, and it is terrible to waste it looking to the past. Do whatever you have to do to release the past and its hold on you.

Second, you must learn that THE ONLY PERSON THAT YOU CAN CHANGE IS YOURSELF! You can spend your entire lifetime wishing that a person would change, wishing that they would treat you better or be loving and supportive, but it ain't gonna happen just because you want it to. If you were abused as a child, then you may be spending your life trying to ignore it, shoving it down into some dark recess of your psyche. I guarantee you, however, that it is coming out, every minute of every day in ways that you cannot see. Deal with it! Get help, you are going to need it. But you are absolutely, positively going to have to give up hoping that someone will change, or trying to change them. Working on yourself is the only answer

Third, examine your current relationships. IF YOUR CURRENT RELATIONSHIPS ARE NOT GOOD, CHANGE THEM! People infected with FABS often have surrounded themselves with people who are infected as well. Since you can't change them, you are going to have to get strong enough to let them go. If you are successful in driving the FABS from your life, they are not going to want to be around you anyway, or they are going to try and re-infect you. Misery loves company. Once you have gotten rid of your FABS, then you will attract like-minded people to you, ones that do not have FABS either.

As you learn to live in the moment, to not try and make other people change and that you deserve better relationships, the FABS will find that they are not welcome in your life. They will move on to some other unsuspecting person, or better yet, they may just cease to exist. It can be scary to rid yourself of the FABS, but remember, they are causing you to feel that way! They don't want to leave; you have to make them leave. It is so worth the time and effort to do this, being cured of the FABS is fabulous.

About The Author

Sibyl McLendon is 1/2 Navajo, and is a personal spiritual coach for Circle Of Grace http://www.circle-of-grace.com.

Circle Of Grace is a unique blending of Native American spirituality and holistic wellness coaching. Sign up for a free coaching session!

Sibyl can be contacted at sibyl@www.circle-of-grace.com

MORE RESOURCES:

RELATED ARTICLES

Using The Negative in a Positive Way - God Does It All the Time
I loved Norman Vincent Peale's, Power of Positive Thinking as much as any book I have ever read. I have read Napoleon Hill's books and I am an ardent believer in almost everything Dale Carnegie ever wrote.
Oh for a Really Good Day!
What's wrong with me? When I'm sick I get grumpy and irritable. When I'm criticised I become defensive.
How To Radically Improve Your Everyday Experience Of Life In Two Simple Steps
Can you do something for me?Tell me?Please don't think tomorrow.What?Yeah, you heard me.
Are You A Victim Of FABS? Part One
Have you heard of the FABS? The FABS are quadruplets; they are not identical but they are very, very similar! The FABS are: Fear, Anger, Blame and Shame. This quartet love to arrive, uninvited, at people's houses and literally stay forever.
Universal Thought Systems #4
Before we are able to use the Universal Thought System in a positive expansive manner, we must learn to use certain words in our language more effectively. The prime characteristic of the Universal Thought System is its consistency.
Positive Self Talk - What Should You Say?
How do you explain things to yourself? With positive self talk or negative? What we say to ourselves radically affects the quality of our lives, and our ability to do things effectively. How useful is it to always tell yourself "impossible," "more problems," "never," and "I can't?"Below are some of the things that positive and negative people say.
Living with Chronic Illness & Disorders: Are You a Survivor?
Once upon a time, I was a vibrant, youthful teenager..
Releasing Self Sabotage for Success and Happiness in Life
Today, I wanted to mention this notion of self-sabotage.I recently studied some material of Kevin Hogans and lots by John Grinder on this topic.
My Attitudes
"If you don't enjoy getting up and working and finishing your work and sitting down to a meal with family or friends, then the chances are you're not going to be happy. If someone bases his or her happiness or unhappiness on major events like a great new job, huge amounts of money, a flawlessly happy marriage or a trip to Paris, that person isn't going to be happy much of the time.
The Courage To Succeed!
The hardest part of success is the **courage** you need to succeed--when you think: "I'm afraid to talk to people.", or "I'm a loser, nobody in their right mind would follow me.
Choose Wisely
During these times of uncertainty in the outside world, look inside your self. Are you feeling uncertain? Are there new energies happening in your life? Are there new feelings and paths of direction to choose from? Have you been listening to your inner sense of self?Each time we undergo uncertainty in the outer world, like our neighborhood, our society, our nation or our planet, there is a reflection that is being expressed from inside.
Dump Those Negative Tapes
Every time something doesn't go quite right (rather frequently for some of us), we start berating ourselves. We can be the soul of courtesy and forgiveness to those we care about and then turn and savage ourselves in the most brutal fashion.
Lets Get to the Bottom of Low Self-Esteem
If you suffer from low self-esteem, it's because you don't know yourself well enough to appreciate how basically wonderful you are. This is not empty flattery.
All My Needs, Desires, and Goals are Met -- INSTANTANEOUSLY
I get emails and questions from people all the time who are frustrated because they have read all types of self-help books, attended all types of motivational seminars, received personal coaching and yet, they still are unable to live the life that they dream of living.I know how frustrating it can be.
Quick Steps To Improve Your Performance Though Positive Self-Talk
Want to improve your personal performance? Positive self-talk can help.Edward W.
The Difference Between the Curmudgeons and the Serene
Have you ever noticed how many unhappy people there are in this world of ours? Almost every time I venture out I come in contact with them. You see them in the stores, the market, on the roads ~ everywhere.
Use Your Imagination to Create the Self You Want
"Every prayer - every thought, every statement, every feeling -is creative. To the degree that it is fervently held as truth, to that degree will it be made manifest in your experience.
How Our Thoughts Create Mental Bugs
Our thoughts define who we are. They can make us instantly resourceful or plunge us into the depths of despair.
The Power of a Positive Attitude
You wake up in the morning sleepy and fatigued; the day has to start but you do not want it to. You stumble around; stub your toe on the dresser and step on the dog.
Dissolving Stereotypes through Personal Individuality
The other evening, I was meticulously assembling and painting one of my many model airplanes. I carefully constructed the wingspan of this F-15C Eagle, gently sealed the cockpit and began to brush whisping strokes of color upon this small, plastic aircraft.