Fearing the Future: I am what I Fear!
When we were children, we were fearless. We would stick our hands in the fire, chew on the beetle bugs, and eat that dirt. But, over time, we learned those things that we should not do through experience and from "parental voices" --- those baseless fears passed down through the generations. Later in life, we learned that fire burns, beetle bugs are "yucky" and dirt is not nutritious. But, we also learned all of the things that our parents learned, including their fears and phobias, and integrated those lessons into our own "belief systems."
Our belief systems are the basis of our personalities and the foundations of our directions in life --- they are the rules by which we live. In essence, our fears, desires, and values define each of us. We are what we believe --- including our fears. However, consider what your current fears are that prevent you from moving forward. Realize that these fears are of things that we were taught and those things that we learned on our own --- in the past. Fear is based on past experiences and not on those things that we have not yet encountered. With that, we only fear what we've "already experienced." The "fear of the unknown" is doubt in the future based on the circumstances that we've encountered in the past.
Since we are what we believe, we can change who we are by enhancing our belief systems. To overcome your fears, you must first determine if the fear is based on something learned through experience or taught to us by parental voices. Fears that are taught or passed down to us can be more prominent than those we learn from personal experiences because we don't know why we fear such things. We can overcome fears through rational thinking if we're able to learn why such situations occurred that caused the fear. But, if we don't know the basis, we won't look further because we fear what we "might" find.
If you don't know why you have certain fears and cannot rationalize them, they need to be eliminated. Baseless fears are unreal and create a false blockage and a reason to give up, surrender, and rest in a comfort zone. Determine which fears are baseless and replace them with practical experiences. Realistic fears based on actual experiences can be rationalized and resolved. These resolutions can then be integrated into our lives to learn lessons and move forward in life.
Once we are able to define and diffuse our core fears, we can then rely on the fear of returning to our prior state or not succeeding in our life to drive us forward. You can then devise a plan of action to reach your Vision and focus on desires of success and fulfillment instead of hiding in the dark from the empty fears of our "parental voices."
About The Author
Edward B. Toupin is an author, life-strategy coach, counselor, Reiki Master, technical writer, and PhD Candidate living in Las Vegas, NV. Among other things, he authors books, articles, and screenplays on topics ranging from career success through life organization and fulfillment. Check out some of his recent print and electronic books as well as his articles covering various life-changing topics!
For more information, e-mail Edward at etoupin@toupin.com or visit his site at http://www.make-life-great.com or http://www.toupin.com!
Copyright (c) 2004 Edward B. Toupin
MORE RESOURCES:
 |
 |
 |
RELATED ARTICLES
10 Tips to Cope with Negative Emotions at Work
It's a fact of life - if you want to succeed in business, you need to know how to interact and communicate effectively with your employees, business partners, vendors, prospects, and customers. As a small business owner, this might involve rapid shifting from one type of language to another.
Surrounding Yourself With Positive Energy
Our lives are busy. We rush here only to remember we were supposed to rush there.
Life as a Burden Vs. Live as a Privilege
Are you an optimist or a pessimist? Is the glass half empty or half full?Here's one that I have been having some success with lately: Do you approach life and all it contains as a burden or as a privilege?As I've been learning recently, the burden-or-privilege view greatly influences your life for bad or for good.Let's take a look at how this choice can affect your liLife as a burdenA person with the burden view thinks and behaves like this:Approaches the daily tasks of life grudgingly.
Self-Sabotage - Are We Prisoners of the Past?
Many people who suffer from low self-esteem would give
anything to escape their painful feelings of inferiority.
Almost anything, that is.
Learning From Life
Do you ever find yourself thinking, "Life has taught me some tough lessons, and the scars do not heal easily."? This article can help you learn valuable lessons from the past, instead of allowing the past to determine your future.
Universal Thought Systems Language #3
Before we are able to use the Universal Thought System in a positive expansive manner, we must learn to use certain words in our language more effectively. The prime characteristic of the Universal Thought System is its consistency.
Tips on Boosting Your Self-Confidence
How you feel about yourself truly does affect your interaction with others.It truly saddens me when I hear women using negative talk when referring to themselves.
Peak Performance
Peak Performance. It means being at the top of your game, feeling supremely confident, feeling like everything you do is effortless and acheives its goal, feeling resilient and detached from the outcome, being in the flow, being in the zone, feeling relaxed, feeling happy and joyful, having a sense of clarity and certainty about everything that you do, feeling a sense of fullness in your life, indeed feeling fulfilled.
Establish What you Want with NLP
Recently, a lady came to see me and she had successfully stopped smoking with me and as she had enjoyed the success after 30 years of trying and failing to stop smoking, she was so happy that she felt capable of doing anything. She brought in what looked like a shopping list of things in her life that she wanted to change!Just last week, I also got an email from someone that receives this ezine of mine, and they wanted all sorts of different things to happen in their life, and couldn't decide what to focus on.
Attitude Adjustment 101: Nine Ways to Transform You From Mediocre to Magnificent
"Work on your career and you'll make a living. Work on yourself and you'll make a fortune.
Beware: Your Mind is a Battle Field!
WhenWhen we have feelings for someone or something, we have given birth to those feelings through thought. Proverbs Chapter 23 verse 7 reads: "For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.
Turning Fear Into Power
How would your life shift if you moved into what you feared not away from it, if you moved into the future with controlled abandon -think about it! One of the things I know from working with people for close to two decades and from my own development is that - things change. And yet how many people say they hate change.
How to Begin to Overcome Shyness
The one thing that is absolutely vital to overcoming shyness is DESIRE. You must want to, badly.
Top Three Secrets To Becoming A Better Thinker
We all know there are ways to become a better thinker. We should read more books.
The Art of Thankfulness
With Thanksgiving approaching, I thought it would be
especially appropriate to discuss a defining characteristic of
successful people that I've met worldwide. I've found that
successful and joyous people are usually very skilled at
counting their blessings.
You Have All The Resources You Need
You already have all the resources you need to accomplish all the things you want to achieve. Sound too good to be true, doesn't it? Fact is, it is true.
Using Negative Experience to Discover Your Strength
"Someone was hurt before you; wronged before you, hungry before you, frightened before you, raped before you; yet, someone survived" - Maya Angelou"Do not grieve. Misfortunes do not flourish particularly in our path.
Today, A Wonderful Day
Believe me, today is the most wonderful day of your life! You live in today; drink, dine, walk, talk, work and play today. Living today is not enough, make it a wonderful day for you.
Self-esteem: Does It Really Matter?
Some people are full of confidence and able to meet even the most difficult challenge with an air of authority. A good level of self-esteem is essential for us to function successfully in our professional and personal lives.
Change and Transition - 10 Steps to Surviving Change Elegantly
If I say the word "CHANGE" how do you feel? Most people remain fearful, anxious and uncomfortable with change, despite it being a driving issue in our society. It appears that no matter how much experience we have it doesn't get any easier.
|